How much rizz does your Overwatch 2 main have? Rating heroes based on new Valentine’s Day voice lines

They range from titillating to positively terrifying.

For the first time since the franchises 2016 release, the Overwatch team is embracing love by creating an event all about Valentines Day. The Ultimate Valentines Day event runs from Feb. 14 to Feb. 28 and comes with a bonus dating simulator in the form of Loverwatch. 

A bouquet of new, romantic voice lines were added with the season three launch on Tuesday, Feb. 7, however, so players can get an early look at the corny (or cringe-worthy) content coming their way next week. All of the lines can be unlocked by completing challenges during the Ultimate Valentines Day event.  

As an expert in the field of thirst and terrible decisions, I felt it important to rate these new voice lines and see how they reflected on the overall “rizz” potential of Overwatch 2s cast. The lines are rated on a 10-heart scale based on how charming the line is, how well its delivered, and how much it will inspire people to fork over $20 to give that hero a sparkly new outfit. 

Let the love fest begin. 

Hanzo 

Shot through the heartand Im to blame. 

Hanzo delivers a solid 80s music reference thats also a nod to his new identity as the worlds grumpiest Cupid in Loverwatch. For those of us who sorely need to be taken out, either on a date or with a sniper rifle, this is the ideal voice line for the holiday.

Rating: Eight hearts out of 10. 

Sojourn 

Hey, youre alright. 

Its a simple line without a lot of romantic magic, but this one is clearly for the people out there who crave one iota of positive attention from someone who is usually barking orders at them. You likely love a challenge and Sojourn is here to give you one. 

Rating: Six hearts out of 10. 

Moira 

Arent you just pathetic? 

Yes, this is a romantic Valentines Day voice line, but it caters to a very specific crowd that likes being stepped on and (affectionately) told theyre trash in their off-hours. If you main Moira, youre probably already used to that, so this line will definitely do it for you. 

Rating: Two hearts out of 10 if youre normal, eight hearts out of 10 if you want Moira to experiment on you. 

Ramattra 

Our lives are short. Will you spend yours with me? 

Im fully aware my life will probably be shorter if Im in the same zip code as Ramattra, but if he keeps delivering lines as good as this one, itd be worth it. This omnic was programmed with more game than most Overwatch 2 players will ever have in their entire bodies. Hes built differently.  

Rating: 9.5 hearts out of 10. 

Junkrat 

Happy Valentines Day. 

This is a very simple line but Junkrat delivers it with a tone that implies you just showed up at his door in lingerie while holding a heart-shaped package of C4. Considering how much fan artistsand the games designers themselveshave been yassifiying Junkrat these days, this line is probably working for a lot of people.  

Rating: Seven hearts out of 10. 

Lúcio 

Would you be, uhmy, uhwhy is this so hard? 

He might be a best-selling musical sensation with serious moves, but Lúcio is apparently as awkward as the rest of us when it comes to love. This line might be the most realistic one. Its so dorky, so cute, and so genuine that it just melts your heart.

Rating: Nine out of 10 hearts. 

Pharah 

Dont fly away with my heart. 

Calm down, boys. Shes not clearly not hitting on you, shes hitting on Mercy. This line is only for the hardcore shippers and they may very well have a heart attack before they ever have a chance to fly away with anything Pharah owns. 

Rating: Six hearts out of 10.

Widowmaker 

Do you really want to be with me? I can be dangerous. 

Widowmaker is celebrating the holiday with the understatement of the year in her romantic voice line. Dangerous is certainly putting it lightly since she murdered her husband and shes implying you could be next. However, the line is delivered in a way that kind of makes you want to be next. 

Rating: 9.5 hearts out of 10. 

Roadhog 

Wanna see a movie? 

I, for one, cant wait to see Shrek 85 and share an entire bucket of popcorn with this guy. Its a basic but effective line, even if few people will take him up on the invitation other than Junkrat. 

Rating: Six hearts out of 10. 

Sigma 

You are my starlight. 

On one hand, Sigma is certifiably off his rocker. On the other hand, hes absolutely the kind of man who will write an entire book of poetry about you. The verses may be written in Sharpie on the padded walls of his cell, but theyll clearly be beautiful. 

Rating: Seven hearts out of 10. 

Echo

If I had a heart, it would beat for you. 

This line definitely has the same vibe as your Roomba telling you how much it loves you, but the romantic sentiment is still there. We truly hope this is the future of AI technology instead of the looming threat of chat robots taking our jobs. They can have our hearts instead.

Rating: Six hearts out of 10. 

Latest comments
No comments yet
Why not be the first to comment?